Thursday, 10 March 2016

Exemplar Text

The boys sat together thinking about the poor man. They were sorry that things had happened the way they had, and they still felt a little bit guilty - they hadn't meant for anything bad to happen. Jack signed. He had learnt that it wasn't always a good idea to go with the crowd and he wouldn't be making the same mistake again.

...Three weeks earlier, Jack had been walking to the shop with a group of his friends. As they passed the old railway bridge, they spotted what looked like a bundle of clothes next to a rusty old dustbin. Jack stared at the rags intently, until, to his surprise he saw a pair of eyes blinking back at him. He hurried on, to catch up with his friends. 

"What took you so long?" Mike asked. 
"I thought I saw someone..." Jake replied. 
"Let's go and check it out then", this time it was James that spoke. They wondered over to the dustbin. They peered into the darkness. Now all of them could see the poor old man. He was covered in old rags that now looked nothing like cloths.

This is my exemplar writing. The first two paragraphs were already written but I wrote the third one. We had to write a paragraph carrying on from the text already written for us.  

1 comment:

  1. Hi Daniel, this is an amazing paragraph to continue the story! I like how you added the old rugs that looked nothing like cloths. By reading that sentence it paints a picture in my mind and that shows you used show not tell in your paragraph. Keep up the great work, from Latham.