Wednesday, 13 April 2016

The Modern Little Red Riding

This term we have been learning to write narratives. We used the picture prompt below to help us imagine how this situation came about. We tried to hook our audience in by thinking about the pace of events and the pictures we painted with words. This time I used punctuation like semi-colons (;) and ellipses (...) and next time I will try to use other punctuation like colons (:).

The grass rustled and parted as footsteps shoved their way through. The girl ran through the plains, the dead grass was slowing her down as she desperately ran away from the dark and mysterious shape that was following her. Her red cloak flew behind her as she ran for her life. The girl’s name is Jess, but she was called Little Red Riding Hood by her friends and family, even though she was fifteen now. She looked behind her as she ran and saw that the dark shape was still following her. Suddenly she tripped over a rock that was hidden in the grass. The dark shape was still gaining when she managed to recover and stand up.
“Help, Help!” She shouted.

Jess couldn’t run because when she fell, her ankle felt like it was broken. Every step brought a new batch of pain into her leg. Then, when she looked up she saw that the dark shape had caught up to her. Jess soon realized that the dark shape was a man, he was wearing a black coloured cloak. The man had no expression on his face, it was like he was a robot. The guy picked up a rock and hit her head with it. The last thing she saw was the sun setting and then her world turned black...

“AAAAHHHH!”, Jess screamed. She had just woken up and saw a humongous red back spider in front of her face. She scrambled up to her feet and backed away to a wall. The she realized there was a scorpion sitting on the pillow her head had just been on. After a while, she got over her fear and looked around. The room that she was in was like a prison (Actually it looked like torture room), there were no windows and only one door. The door was made out of metal and Jess knew instantly that whoever kidnapped her had locked the door. Who wouldn’t?

Soon the man that had chased her came back and took her up several flights of stairs. A man in a scientist coat was sitting at a computer, typing away. When he heard the footsteps echoing across the steel floor, he turned around. “Welcome, my name is Doctor Frankenstein”, he said.
“The real Frankenstein?” Jess asked uncertainly. She didn’t really believe that this weird man was Dr Frankenstein.
“No, I just think he is a genius, he’s sort of like my role model!” He said with a cackling laugh. He must be crazy, Jess thought. Several men were tied up at the floor next to ‘Doctor Frankenstein’. They were unconscious but Jess could see that they had police uniforms.
“Why are you holding us captive?”, Jess questioned.
“I’m holding these men because they thought it was a good idea to investigate the experiments I have been doing in here.”
“What about me? Why are you keeping me here?”
“You got in the way, now enough chatter, chuck her in the pit!”

Jess wondered what was the ‘pit’, but she soon found out. The man that had kidnapped her took her there. Jess thought it would be just a medium sized hole where they keep her; she was wrong. It was a massive hole in the ground and at the bottom was snakes. There were so many different kinds of snakes (From King cobra’s to Rattlesnakes and Black mamba’s).
“HELP!” Jess screamed. She didn’t want to get want to get any of those poisonous fangs in her. She kicked and struggled but the man that was holding her wouldn't budge. His grip was so strong she couldn’t break free, but she managed to kick his bony ankle. Dr Frankenstein's henchman stumbled and fell into the pit. He got up almost immediately and started to throw the snakes off that were on him. Eventually though, he lost the struggle for survival. The poison from one of the snakes made the henchman fall to the dusty ground silently.

Jess scrambled backwards so she couldn’t see the body, then she realized that the men she saw before were in danger. She walked into a room and saw her mobile phone (It was a present from her mother). When she turned it on there was no connection but when she smacked it on her palm there was a weak connection. She quickly dialled 111 and explained where she was and what happened. Then she hid in the room she woke up in. Soon she heard sirens and screams. When the screaming finished, Jess got up and walked out. The police came out and escorted her out the castle that Doctor Frankenstein used as his base. A few days later she was back at her house lying down on her couch. She was holding a newspaper that was a couple of days old. The headlines were Crazy Scientist Arrested. Jess decided that from now on, she would stay home and relax.


  1. Really great effort on your writing. There was a lot of good ideas and imagination involved. Keep up the good work, Love mum.

  2. It's amazing what you can achieve when you put your mind to it.