Thursday, 21 May 2015

ANZAC Recraft

ANZAC Recraft

I woke up to the sound of thunder and lightning. I checked my watch. It was 6:00 got out of my makeshift bed and crouched in the trench. I was immediately soaked. Rain splashed into the trench turning it into a wet muddy hole. My boots and uniform were full of mud. I then woke up the other soldiers because today in one hour we and thousands of other soldiers had to get out of their trenches and charge the enemy. Forty-five minutes later when the men were getting ready to charge Turkish soldiers started coming out of their trenches and charged at us. We were taken by surprise so the Turkish soldiers got really far across no man’s land before we had a chance to react. We shot at the Turkish soldiers but their were too many of them. We couldn't use our artillery guns at close quarters because we will blow ourselves up. Suddenly someone shouts out “grenade!”.    

I only have time to think “what the heck?” before a grenade comes flying towards me. My heart thumps as it lands next to my foot. I quickly pick up and throw the grenade. The grenade explodes two seconds after it left my hand. A rock then hits my head and I get knocked unconscious.

When I wake up I am in a cell with iron bars. I’m squeezed in next to my trench mates. The cell is tiny and there is bearly enough space for the four of us. “What happened” I asked my men. “After you got knocked out Turkish soldiers came and captured us”. We got little food and water but after two weeks in the cell a Turkish soldier that was digging outside our cell dropped his spade and went somewhere. I put my arm through the cell and stretched so I could reach the spade. My arm was just long enough and I grabbed the spade and pulled it inside the cell.       

So for the next month my soldiers and I took turns digging and digging a hole underneath the cell until the hole was finally complete. We waited until dark and then we climbed out through the hole and crept quietly back across to our trench. Luckily some soldiers fought the Turkish soldiers so bravely the Turkish soldiers retreated back to their trenches. Six months later we attacked the Turkish soldiers and captured or killed all of them.    


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. You have a great hook, Daniel. I like your choice to keep the whole story in the first person. It makes the reader feel closer to the main character. If you kept all the verbs in the present tense, it would have made that feeling more intense because the reader would feel like they are always with the main character.

    The time in the cell didn't feel very difficult for the character. What could you have done to make the time in the cell more interesting or more of a struggle? What could you have done to make your sentences more varied?